mixed feelings

of guilt.excitement.and curiosity.

guilt cause i should be that distracted and this will definitely cause me to be super distracted.

excited cause im going to have a lot of pretty pictures and texts and ya its something soo cool and soo new to me,of course excited la!

curiosity..ok it isnt an emotion actually,more like there is alot for me to explore.but im so tired from staring at the com,so i will leave it to some other time…

and hopefully i gain more self discipline through this process.

welcome to my new tumblr acc (:

http://malusdomestica.tumblr.com/

finally right,no more stealing of photos now.hahahha!

you have served me well,wordpress.i will still come back.

but once in a while i guess.

xo,a

the many firsts on the last day of march,the thirtyfirst

im in school now.brought lappy to school today.that’s first for sure.

i had popiah brunch with babsis,thats another first.

im in school this early on a thurs,thats yet another first.

and feeling this way,this strong.is definitely another first.

if only you didnt pay for my birthday treat,you know what,you could have flown yourself back in july for a few days.

i really kinda want to see you soon.and i seriously havent felt this way this strong before.

maybe cause no one exactly asked  me that persistently to make me realise.

what will happen if you dont come back?

soemtimes i really wonder why is my life so dramatic and messy.

xo,a

you are a hopeless piece of log

or either that showing some concern over my emotions will kill you.or maybe its just that you bother.

but wells,im coming out with excuses for you.to console and comfort myself so that you wont think that im being demanding again.or i wont have to wait for you to say mean things again.so im guessing its most likely cause of busy mount everest workload, and plus you are sick.

i can understand.

but it doesnt mean that i dont feel how im feeling.

i know he’s important to you.but i just wanna let you know that its a bit unfair for me too.i have been giving in.and there is a limit to it.and its getting abit too much.you cant possibly expect me to close both eyes and not see a thing and play pretence that hey you know im okay im tougher than this.i know im tough or i should be tough,but it does hurt you realise.

in the first place you had two choices.to let me have him or to let her take him and cut all ties with her.im not saying that you literally stop talking to her and stuff.im okay if there is really a need to talk to her,but it doesnt mean that i feel fine with you talking to her.im just not comfortable with it.

 

i wish sg had such places

i need shoulders to lean on

i really miss them

this reminds me i really need a new bed buddy, my tigger needs to retire

sometimes i just wanna have you to myself all alone.or should i say i just dont feel comfortable.im sorry.

i miss them alot, but i miss us even more

xo,a

ONE MORE BEFORE I SLEEP

i should be heading to bed.but one last entry kk (:

 

i miss them

this will always be my fav shop

PATIENTLY waiting for my hair to grow till i can do this

i dont need to say a thing.the photo tells it all.GORGEOUS LIKE MAD

oh my oh my.im going crazy staring at him.

this may have just became my fav flowers

i dont think i can ever have such nice body ):

i will get my husband to do this for me every morning next time (:

i like getting kisses on my forehead

i cant help it but to melt everytime i look at this

i wanna get that kind of sunnies,do i look good in those?

hahha,this is exactly one of the two things i'd do during school hols.books and hot drinks is bliss, especially when its nicholas sparks.the other is princess diaries ❤

i love you too

lea michele’s voice is sooooo good im jealous.hahha.its really so good!but anyway,this is a nice song.i like it alot.a bit emo but it is exactly how i feel sometimes.feel so stupid when i try to help and a mess is created.its so true isnt it.and you just keep wanting to try even though its hurting and tiring.regardless of how many times that i have to go through the same process.

id send out a wish and send up a prayer,and maybe someday someone will know that i truly care.

nightsy people.and happy birthday to all the 27th march babies.

xo,a

Need You Now- Glee

Picture perfect memories
Scattered all around the floor
Reaching for the phone ’cause
I can’t fight it anymore

And I wonder if I
Ever cross your mind
For me it happens all the time

It’s a quarter after one
I’m all alone
And I need you now
Said I wouldn’t call
But I’ve lost all control
And I need you now

And I don’t know how
I can do without
I just need you now

Another shot of whiskey
Can’t stop looking at the door
Wishing you’d come sweeping
In the way you did before

And I wonder if I
Ever cross your mind
For me it happens all the time

It’s a quarter after one
I’m a little drunk
And I need you now
Said I wouldn’t call
But I’ve lost all control
And I need you now

And I don’t know how
I can do without
I just need you now

Whoa, whoa
Guess I’d rather hurt
Than feel nothing at all

Oh baby, I need you now

ya, for me it happens all the time.

i really wish i was there with you dear

i wouldnt be able to do much even then

but at least i can try to do something so that  you’d be sleeping and resting well

im praying that you wont be waking up again until the sun shines

and that you’d recover fast

you have no idea how miserable im feeling here

for not being able to do anything

i cant even do anything now )’:

get well soon dear

dont reply the tweets anymore silly.just rest.though its really melting me to see you reply.but you need the rest,so just close your eyes.im asking God for more guardian angels to be by your side tonight.

xo,a