mixed feelings

of guilt.excitement.and curiosity.

guilt cause i should be that distracted and this will definitely cause me to be super distracted.

excited cause im going to have a lot of pretty pictures and texts and ya its something soo cool and soo new to me,of course excited la!

curiosity..ok it isnt an emotion actually,more like there is alot for me to explore.but im so tired from staring at the com,so i will leave it to some other time…

and hopefully i gain more self discipline through this process.

welcome to my new tumblr acc (:

http://malusdomestica.tumblr.com/

finally right,no more stealing of photos now.hahahha!

you have served me well,wordpress.i will still come back.

but once in a while i guess.

xo,a

the many firsts on the last day of march,the thirtyfirst

im in school now.brought lappy to school today.that’s first for sure.

i had popiah brunch with babsis,thats another first.

im in school this early on a thurs,thats yet another first.

and feeling this way,this strong.is definitely another first.

if only you didnt pay for my birthday treat,you know what,you could have flown yourself back in july for a few days.

i really kinda want to see you soon.and i seriously havent felt this way this strong before.

maybe cause no one exactly asked  me that persistently to make me realise.

what will happen if you dont come back?

soemtimes i really wonder why is my life so dramatic and messy.

xo,a

you are a hopeless piece of log

or either that showing some concern over my emotions will kill you.or maybe its just that you bother.

but wells,im coming out with excuses for you.to console and comfort myself so that you wont think that im being demanding again.or i wont have to wait for you to say mean things again.so im guessing its most likely cause of busy mount everest workload, and plus you are sick.

i can understand.

but it doesnt mean that i dont feel how im feeling.

i know he’s important to you.but i just wanna let you know that its a bit unfair for me too.i have been giving in.and there is a limit to it.and its getting abit too much.you cant possibly expect me to close both eyes and not see a thing and play pretence that hey you know im okay im tougher than this.i know im tough or i should be tough,but it does hurt you realise.

in the first place you had two choices.to let me have him or to let her take him and cut all ties with her.im not saying that you literally stop talking to her and stuff.im okay if there is really a need to talk to her,but it doesnt mean that i feel fine with you talking to her.im just not comfortable with it.

 

i wish sg had such places
i need shoulders to lean on
i really miss them
this reminds me i really need a new bed buddy, my tigger needs to retire

sometimes i just wanna have you to myself all alone.or should i say i just dont feel comfortable.im sorry.

i miss them alot, but i miss us even more

xo,a

ONE MORE BEFORE I SLEEP

i should be heading to bed.but one last entry kk (:

 

i miss them

this will always be my fav shop

PATIENTLY waiting for my hair to grow till i can do this

i dont need to say a thing.the photo tells it all.GORGEOUS LIKE MAD

oh my oh my.im going crazy staring at him.

this may have just became my fav flowers

i dont think i can ever have such nice body ):

i will get my husband to do this for me every morning next time (:

i like getting kisses on my forehead

i cant help it but to melt everytime i look at this

i wanna get that kind of sunnies,do i look good in those?

hahha,this is exactly one of the two things i'd do during school hols.books and hot drinks is bliss, especially when its nicholas sparks.the other is princess diaries ❤

i love you too

lea michele’s voice is sooooo good im jealous.hahha.its really so good!but anyway,this is a nice song.i like it alot.a bit emo but it is exactly how i feel sometimes.feel so stupid when i try to help and a mess is created.its so true isnt it.and you just keep wanting to try even though its hurting and tiring.regardless of how many times that i have to go through the same process.

id send out a wish and send up a prayer,and maybe someday someone will know that i truly care.

nightsy people.and happy birthday to all the 27th march babies.

xo,a

Need You Now- Glee

Picture perfect memories
Scattered all around the floor
Reaching for the phone ’cause
I can’t fight it anymore

And I wonder if I
Ever cross your mind
For me it happens all the time

It’s a quarter after one
I’m all alone
And I need you now
Said I wouldn’t call
But I’ve lost all control
And I need you now

And I don’t know how
I can do without
I just need you now

Another shot of whiskey
Can’t stop looking at the door
Wishing you’d come sweeping
In the way you did before

And I wonder if I
Ever cross your mind
For me it happens all the time

It’s a quarter after one
I’m a little drunk
And I need you now
Said I wouldn’t call
But I’ve lost all control
And I need you now

And I don’t know how
I can do without
I just need you now

Whoa, whoa
Guess I’d rather hurt
Than feel nothing at all

Oh baby, I need you now

ya, for me it happens all the time.

i really wish i was there with you dear

i wouldnt be able to do much even then

but at least i can try to do something so that  you’d be sleeping and resting well

im praying that you wont be waking up again until the sun shines

and that you’d recover fast

you have no idea how miserable im feeling here

for not being able to do anything

i cant even do anything now )’:

get well soon dear

dont reply the tweets anymore silly.just rest.though its really melting me to see you reply.but you need the rest,so just close your eyes.im asking God for more guardian angels to be by your side tonight.

xo,a

a rest finally

this whole week has been tough.like so much things happened.it felt as if it has been more than a week.looking back now im pretty sure it was moodswings that caused my bad moods.but then again,i was really in need of someone to cry out to,very much in need of comfort because of everything that ive been going through.school has been really unkind this week.all the mods were demanding so much except for music.but then again im procrastinating for my music journal.i better get started with it again.i think im 3 or 4 journals behind…anyway,yea finally friday is over.IM SOOO HAPPY.ok i meant like the morning.the test.not exactly sure how i will fare but i really dont know if i care about it.i really want to get over and done with it.i didnt even stay for lect.went for macs brunch with brenda and her clique.ok i mean friends.i know them too.edmund kelvin they all.it was a good time.cause edmund got us started w his esl debate on sex before marriage.and he was given the role of agreeing with it,poor him.he asked us for help so we had to act out the whole debate,me brens and kelvin ivan.so in the end i think it sort of became the real thing.hahha.obviously u can see who is against and who is for…but yea,i still dont understand why would people be for.but wells,edmund is just happy with the fact that he has enough points for his debate.hahahha.he is a nice guy i think (: i had a good time knowing mengyee too,dont usually talk to her in class but friday was a good time knowing her.and brens too (: really happy and grateful that she’s back in my life again.God is so good all the time.and even though we only meet like once a week,it feels like ive never lagged behind and it feels so comforting to share my happiness and saddness with all the time.its like a must-do weekly.thanks brens,and im really glad to have you (:

anyway,ems sent me a birthday card.like a wooden card.sooo cute.melts.

ok back to what i was saying,so after macs headed to town with them.they went to catch a movie while i went to get beefy’s present materials.hahha.its so funny,cause brens is celebrating it for her the next day.but she was there listening to me what i planning to do for her.SOOOO FUNNY.hahha.like two person celebrating one person’s birthday on a different day.but anyways hope they are having fun (: and yes had a hard time looking for corkboard.WHY SPOTLIGHT SO BIG NO CORKBOARD.and daiso’one was so small….so in the end i had to get hard canvas…and cause its canvas,i had no choice but to get gun glue.which leads to my point,i got scalded by it.i really was very careful with it ok,but really it just happened.and now my middle finger joint there still hurts,swelling ok.sian.but ok the final product is really pretty and im happy with it (: and i hope beefy likes it too.she has been indeed a joy in my life!we went to the tarafuku place at 313 apparently its a branch from tampopo.man it sure brings back memories.especially the milk pudding with caramel.so could feel you there.when you come back we must go there eat again ok (: i will feed u till you go back fat fat again.LOL

today has been slacker day.didnt do much work.so im going to do some now.in fact im hoping to complete all my work by tonight.cause tmr is mom’s birthday.as well as beefy’s birthday.as well as jeremy’s birthday.as well as shuyi jie’s birthday.WHAT A DAY.hahha.so HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALL THE 27th MARCH BABIES.and im so proud of myself.cause i woke up to go for running.not gym ok RUN.hahha!and i climbed like stairssss like i took the stairs instead of lift!and i did situpsss too.pats my head,im a good girl (:

 

i used to have such colourful chicks too you know!!!!!so cute!!!

may your sunday tmr be has pretty and colourful as these chicks here.photo credit to msrach (: i think she was in bkk when she saw this.i wish i still had these chicks.alrights off to get some work done.and hopefully tmr i get some time to catch the hindi movie that ems says its nice.its called 3idiots…hahha.i know right.what a name.

and get well soon dear

xo,a

stole it from tumblr

“Would you just stay with me?”

“Stay with you? What for? Look at us, we’re already fighting.”

“Well that’s what we do. We fight. You tell me when I’m being an arrogant son of a bitch and I tell you when you’re being a pain in the ass. Which you are, 99% of the time. I’m not afraid to hurt your feelings. You have like a two-second rebound rate then you’re back doing the next pain in the ass thing.”

“So what?”

“So it’s not gonna be easy, it’s gonna be really hard, and we’re gonna have to work at this everyday but I wanna do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever, you and me, everyday.”

aww.how come i find it familar?hhahaa

i wanna see you soon

really wished and wishing you could